Earlier this year, I unlocked a key concept for our marriage. For the first four years of our married life, when my wife was feeling overwhelmed, my solution was to try to assure her that “I’ll take care of it.” The main reasoning behind this was that I didn’t want her to keep worrying about things that would make her feel more overwhelmed. I was trying to reassure her that I would take the load and bear the burden for her, but it seemed like that was just not working.
One such time as we were talking, something came up and was overwhelming her again and she said, “No! I don’t want you to handle it by yourself. I want to do it together!”
Wow! What a lightbulb moment! Together! We have just come through the holiday season where we treasure the tradition of family times together. What is it about togetherness that draws us?
The opposite of together is alone. In the garden, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. He chose to make him a helper, a companion to do life with. Even as a single for a good part of my young adult life, it was more enjoyable to be with a bunch of friends than to spend a whole evening alone—although there have been many times I did enjoy and do still enjoy alone time.
There are few consequences worse than being alone, at least for extended periods of time. That’s why the worst prisons have places they call solitary confinement. Many prisoners who were locked up in solitary for years on end, upon release, have struggled with disorientation and a lost sense of direction. The solitary confinement damaged and reprogrammed the social part of their brains to the extent that many find themselves totally lost even though they are just around the corner from their homes.
Social interaction to human beings is about as important as oxygen is to our lungs. My one-year-old daughter would rather change her attitude instead of having to sit on her bed alone to process her tantrum. It is quite effective.
God made the church, His bride, as a body to work together. The hand cannot function without the brain directing it. Neither can the brain carry out its wishes without the other parts serving it. We need each other.
Our team is facing big changes on the horizon, including a possible move to another country with a different language and culture. We don’t know the in’s and out’s of how this is supposed to work nor do we understand the why’s. But, we do know that we are a team and a team pulls together. We encourage the weak and rejoice with the strong.
“Two are better than one,… for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up” (Ecc. 4:9-10, KJV).
So, where are you in the journey of life? Are you trying to go-it-alone? Are you trying to “take care of it yourself”? Perhaps one way that God's strength is perfected in our weakness is when the body pulls together. May His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
We serve a Godhead who is working together in perfect harmony. Let’s put ourselves in the harness and pull “two-gether” to build His Kingdom! Sometimes we feel like we are only one, but God with you is always two!
Note: My wife and I wrote this together :-).
Written by: L.S.